Trust
by mae2551
Summary: "I felt reckless, and idiotic.Then again, I am reckless and idiotic.May you never make the same mistake as I did.Trust is like a crystal vase. Once it falls, it's shattered forever. Take my advice: Never trust anyone.It'll only hurt you."Percy tells the tragic tale of how he lost the love of his life, Annabeth Chase, and how he never really got over it. Self-harm ,suicide mentions.
1. Prologue

If I could go back in time and change what happened, I would. But I can't. It's too late for regrets. I've made my final choice, and no one is going to stop me.

I felt reckless, and idiotic. But, then again, I _am_ reckless and idiotic. It's what I've been called for the first twelve years of my life. Guess who said that?

Oh, right, you don't have to guess. My so-called _friends_ called me that. But I feel that I'm forgetting something.

I snap my fingers. I don't know how I could have forgotten Smelly Gabe. Along with a few other things – bastard, worthless fool, stupid boy, son-of-a-bitch - it's one of his most favourite insults.

I hope he rots in hell. Oh, sorry, I meant _Tartarus_. But, I suppose, the Fields of Punishment would be an okay substitute.

Anyway, this story isn't about him. I mean, _who_would write about Smelly Gabe? Oh, sorry, I forgot to add; other than his poker friends and the cockroaches, of course.

This story is about how I lost the love of my life, Annabeth Chase, and how I got over it. Though, the problem is: I never really got over it. I'm committing suicide. Do you see the droplets of blood on this page? Yeah, that's me. I'm cutting my useless wrists with a bloody, rusty razor. It's not like it's my first time doing self-harm anyway.

Yes, I know what you're thinking: The goofy, idiotic Percy Jackson is going to commit _suicide_? That's impossible! He should have a happy ending with Annabeth and have kids and grow up!

Well, let me tell you something. There are _no_ happy endings. I would say in there are no happy endings in _my_ life, but, I thought, "What the heck? All fucking demigods have no happy endings." Those happy moments were just distractions, flukes. It disillusioned me, _us_, into thinking that we can have a happy ending.

And I already grew up. Ever since I found out that I was a demigod, I've never really acted or thought like a kid my age would. War strategies and survival aren't always on the mind of a normal kid.

But, then again, I was pretty abnormal, even for a demigod. It makes me wonder how Annabeth could stand me. She was everything I wasn't: Beautiful, smart, sociable, brave, and….everything else.

Annabeth. It hits my heart with a fresh stab of pain. She died protecting me. I still don't understand what she saw in me, but I'm grateful that she chose me. It makes me feel…special. As if I was someone worth fighting for. I loved her, and I still do.

But, Annabeth is _dead._ There's no bringing her back to life. And you know what? She was killed by the others in the prophecy. Can you believe that we used to call ourselves the Inseparable Seven? Ha. What a big joke this is. What a big joke my _whole life_ is. They can just go and call themselves the Fucking Murderers.

Because of that, my fatal flaw just vanished. Just like that, it just suddenly went _poof_. I don't have ties to anyone, and I've learned that loyalty hurts. I was _shattered_ just because I didn't see the truth.

You see, if anyone betrays you, it would hurt. Like someone was choking you. But in my case, it was much, much worse. It felt as if someone was squeezing my heart and lungs, and I couldn't breathe.

I thought for certain that I was going to die. Right there when I watched them kill her. As I watched her take her last breath, her last words: _I love you, Percy. You'll always be my Seaweed Brain._

Not one of the Seven cried. Except me. And you know what they did? They laughed at me for crying, for being such a sissy. But in my opinion, crying shows strength, not weakness. You show bravery to cry in front of your friends, your enemies.

Now you know. May you never make the same mistake as I did. Trust is like a crystal vase. Once it falls, it's shattered forever.

Now, my friend, I won't stall you any longer from my tale. Just remember; **_Never, not ever, trust anyone. It'll only hurt you._**

_**P.J.**_

* * *

**In this fic, Percy tells the events from when Annabeth *sniff* died, and to his present time. He sends this letters to some anonymous person. *wink, wink.* I feel kinda out of it, so forgive me if I sound crazy or overemotional. R&R! Thanks for reading!**

**~Mae**


	2. A Pawn of Death

I blame myself for her death, really. I felt so guilty, knowing that I caused her death. I started the problems with the Seven. I should have just kept my big mouth shut.

It started when I began to doubt the gods. Are they really as bad as the Titans? After all, they _did_ use demigods as tools...If gods never existed, would my life be same as it was now? Would life be better without them? Not worrying about things that kids never should have to think about; survival, fighting monsters, never knowing if you might die at any moment?

Didn't Hecate cast a spell that made the monsters smell demigods? To kill them? Did Hecate really didn't care for her own children; who would also be affected by it? Maybe gods couldn't _couldn't_ exist, but if Hecate didn't cast that spell? It would be different, that's for sure.

I could have lived a long life, without any worrying about monsters. Hell, I wouldn't even have known about how my father was a god!

That set me on a new path. I thought about their predictable, and frankly, similar personalities.

It was like the Seven Deadly Sins all over again: Pride, Greed, Lust, Anger, Gluttony, Envy, and Sloth.

If I joined the Titans', would life be easier than this? Sure, they were evil, but they knew how to keep alliances, and keep promises, unlike the Olympians, Hestia, and Hades, included.

Yes, Hestia betrayed Annabeth, too. She believed that without Annabeth, my life wouldn't have a distraction anymore, and she would be made an Olympian. That just goes to show how cruel and selfish the gods are.

I voiced these doubts on the Argo II, while eating dinner with the Seven. It turned out to be the biggest mistake of my life.

Annabeth wasn't the only one who died. Hazel, Piper, and Coach Hedge did, too, by standing up to the boys. But, unfortunately, the boys overpowered them, and all was lost. They killed my mother, too.

My hands are shaking as I write this. _How dare they take my mom away! She had nothing to with this!_

But, Jason, Leo, and Frank thought that by taking my mom away, I paid part of the punishment for 'betraying the gods.'

HA! I now understand Luke's reasons for joining the Titans. I understand my mom's reasons for wanting to live her own life, not ordered around like we demigods are.

And did I tell you? As a result of Mom's death, Paul was admitted to the mental hospital. He loved her so much, that he had gone crazy, searching and searching for someone who is not there.

She's dead. The other's are dead. Dead, dead, dead.

This time, I quickly realize: _Death is the permanent way of taking a close someone from me forever._ And it will never change. So, I ran away from Camp. But, whoa, there. We're getting a bit ahead of ourselves, don't you think?

Let's start with how I mentioned my doubts, shall we?

~**_Percy Jackson_**


	3. Doubts Can Kill You

It was an overcast day, perhaps predicting what would happen in the near future.

Dinner was the same as always. The air was tense, even though none of us knew why. In a few more days, we would be returning to our respective camps. Coach Hedge was the only one in high spirits.

"It's a fine day today, cupcakes! Three days to go until the new satyrs 'ooh' and 'aah' over my great achievements!" He strutted- or rather, _pranced_- around the room, bragging.

"What achievements? You don't have any." Jason said scathingly, gazing disgustedly at his soup.

Jason, Piper, Leo, and Frank were acting unusual that day. Actually, I had seen it coming. But, I didn't want to believe that my best friends were different. More distant, somehow.

Coach Hedge only laughed. "Ah, but, cupcake, I have _many_ achievements. I stood guard over the Argo II when you went gallivanting off in Rome. Without me, we would have never been able to travel to every continent to complete the quest!"

"Not _every_ continent, Hedge. And what does it matter, guarding the ship? We would have found other means of transportation, anyway." Leo rolled his eyes, acting every bit every bit like a spoiled brat.

"It does matter, guarding the ship. This is your own creation, Leo! Don't you care about it? But Coach Hedge, there _are_ other means of transportation." Piper contradicted.

Hedge puffed out his chest indignantly. "But the Argo is the best, and fastest, way to go, sweetheart."

Jason gritted his teeth. "Stop calling her that. She's _mine, _and mine only!"

Hazel teased Jason about it. "Jase, you finally getting into the stage of possessiveness?"

Surprisingly, it was Frank who defended Jason. "Stop that, Hazel. How would you feel if someone teased you like that?" He snapped. "I don't know what's gotten into you! You were the perfect, little girlfriend, made to follow every order of the gods! But, now, you're a rebellious, delinquent kid who isn't even supposed to be alive! You're illegal! You aren't supposed to be alive!"

Hazel tried to keep calm. "The last time I checked, Jason was illegal, too, as you put it. And what's this about me being made to follow _every_ order? I am my own person, Frank. I choose my decisions, not the gods."

Annabeth and I tried to calm everyone down.

"Guys, calm down. We can work this out, if _we would all just calm down."_ Annabeth emphasized the words.

"Why do you care?" Leo shot, glaring at Annabeth. "I think that the best way to sort out their problems is to-"

"To argue? No, I don't think so, Leo." Annabeth calmly said, despite her nervousness. It was not wise to challenge a child of Hephaestus that has power over fire.

"Just because you're the child of the Wisdom Goddess doesn't mean you have to be all high and mighty!" Leo mocked.

"I never said that." I could tell that Annabeth was on her last nerve.

_Leo,_ I prayed, _please don't mess this up. __She's going on a massacre if you do._

I was stupid and naive then, blaming their behavior on tiredness and crankiness.

"Well, then, how come you go all _Idiots, all of you! _and _This is the correct way to do this and that_, blah blah blah!" Leo assumed a cruel tone. "Well, lookie, here, _Annie_. We're not idiots, contrary to what you believe. But, then again, it's not like you ever cared. It's all Percy this, Percy that!"

"She talks about you, too. Annabeth says that it's amazing how you could control fire. How Frank could shape-shift. How Jason could fly. How Piper can charmspeak." I quietly said, not used to this side of Leo.

By then, the rest of the Seven, plus Coach Hedge, had been staring at us.

"Oh, really? I didn't know that she knew our abilities, much less our powers!" Leo snarled. "Has she forgotten that her mother is just a joke for the Romans? HAH. The so-called Wisdom Goddess is only a mockery. And, Piper? Your dad's just a stupid, dumb millionaire who doesn't care about you. At all. Neither does Jason."

I noticed Annabeth fighting to keep the tears away, shocked that her close friends had thought so lowly of her. Piper wiped her eyes angrily, overcome with anger and anguish.

"Leo, that's enough." I said, sharply.

"Ah, so you're sticking up for your girlfriend now, huh? This could only be settled with a fight. Bring it!" Leo arrogantly said.

"Uh, cupcakes, this isn't such a good-" Coach Hedge's nervous voice was interrupted by my own.

"No. Fights aren't the way to settle this." Leo put his finger to his chin contemplatively. "You're right, Jackson." A feral grin took over his features. "This requires war, and bloodshed...**_A battle to the death._**"

That was when the killing begun.

* * *

**This update is a bit late, I suppose. But, I'm lucky to have even a new chapter up. The last few days have been very stressful. I was the vice-president in our class, the campaign manager of the Supreme Pupil Government, the leader in the Nutri-Jingle contest, the leader in the play-making, co-leader of the Girl Scouts, member of the Drum and Lyre, choir member, swimming competitor, solo ballet dancer, choreographer of Dance Troupe, and combine that with the assignments, tests, projects. You can understand why I'm on short schedule right now.**

**Again, please try to understand if I don't manage to update again in this month. **

**-Regards,**

**Mae**


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